I can see it now, like the opening of Disneyland in the '50s. One of the Heavies is being interviewed by Brother PR as the camera pans over a 3D topographic image of "God's Kingdom-100 years of fun and frolic!"
PR: So tell us a little about the park.
Heavy: Well, you see that the park is built around a central theme, the throne at the center of the park. The various areas snail around it, cascading outward toward the ample parking that will be available for visitors.
PR: You can never have enough parking!
Heavy: That's right PR. There will be plenty of parking and at $15 a car it will help defray the costs of this marvelous park. There will be bus access and areas for larger vehicles as well....Oh, by the way, no overnight parking will be allowed. But, not to worry, we are in the planning stages for an RV park just down the road.
PR: That organizational chariot just keeps moving forward!
Heavy: you got that right!
(muted chuckles)
PR: Well, tell us a little about the different themes located within the park.
Heavy: Sure. First, right behind the Kingdom Throne ride at the center of the park, which, by the way is a single rider fast paced attraction where the publisher is strapped in the car and it quickly moves through a maze of tracks, similar to a roller coaster. It is very exciting.
PR: It looks exciting.
Heavy: Oh, it is. Right now unfortunately, there is a long wait as there have been technical difficulties with the plans and engineering issues, but hey, it should be up and moving by the time the end comes.
(wheezy chuckle)
PR: Sounds a lot like the actual kingdom.
Heavy: That's right...but it'll be well worth the wait. We are hoping that the computer images and video depictions of the ride will really fuel publisher's desire to ride the ride, regardless of how long the wait is. (muted agreement)
PR: So, what's the Door-to-Door ride all about? (camera pans over the north edge of the Throne Ride and zeros in on the attraction)
Heavy: Well, it's not really a ride, its more of a hands on attraction where the publisher puts on a vest aand helmet and progresses through a "territory" of porches and stoops, dodging laser fire from irate householders. The publisher will have a laser gun of their own and will return fire. It is a high scoring attraction where publishers can compare their scores at the end of the ride, adding to the competitive spirit that we all know and love!
PR: You got that right! That should be a blast!
Heavy: (Chuckles) Yeah, a blast with a laser blaster! (pause) Oh, by the way, the laser blaster is shaped in the form of a publication, a 192 page book to be exact, with an added barrel and trigger. That way the publisher can maintain the image of "defending" the good news with every score.
(Feel free to add to the attraction list)